Some evenings, the hardest thing to do is just jumping
into the pool, trusting that the cool water
will support me and return me to the surface.
I began this little enterprise in earnest last July, as an aid
to help me lose weight, but it has become
an end in itself. I am surrounded by tri-athletes, long and short course
competitive swimmers, and open water swimmers and every
damn one of them is a better swimmer than I; to date,
there has not been one person I have shared a lane with
who has not been a stronger, faster swimmer.
My coach, a nice man (even though I think of him as a dick),
knows I'm frustrated, tells me I've improved but that it
takes a long time to be any good. But just how long is
"a long time"? I've seen enormous changes in my body as the fat
burns away and my muscles become toned.
Things are changing for the better, but when
will I be strong and fast?
Will I ever get to be attractive again so I can wear
a nice swimsuit made from a pretty print?
When will it be my turn?