Friday, September 9, 2011

Larry! Help Me! I'm Goin' In!

Wow! I can't believe how much stuff is in here! 
Did we find the effing mother lode or what!?

Better be careful, Steve, you've got so much pollen on 
you now you look like you're wearin' a sweater, man!

Oh, yeh, but it feels so good, I'm coppin' a real good buzz.
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzzy, buh-buh-buh buzz.
Hmmm, hmmm, buzz, buzz, buzz -- Boo-yah!

Careful, Steve, or you'll have so much you can't carry it home. 
A bee that can't carry his pollen is no use to the Queen.

Queen, schween, what does she know? 
We're out sun up to sundown, workin' our wings to rags, man, rags 
while she's all "Feeel me! Feeed me! Lick me! Groom me!"
And do we, her best workers, ever get a chance for promotion to drone? 

Hell, no!

What can ya do, Steve? It's our lot in life; we work our asses off to maintain a queen and then we die. So whatcha gonna do? Tell it to Congress?

Larry, you know that cute little bee in Cell One, name of Harriet? 
The one with the sexy little hitch to her abdomen? Well, she and I are gonna strike out on our own, start our own hive. We've been workin' real hard, 
gettin' a store of pollen for our larvae.


Well, yeh, Larry, where do you think larvae come from, anyway?
Hasn't anybody ever told you about the birds and the bees?

I dunno, I guess I thought it was kind of a people tale, you know, how the tunnel eats the train and all that hooey. Say, Steve, is it fun?

Is it fun? Oh, yeah, that Harriet, she's the best. I can hardly wait to get back. I give her a bit of the pollen, take most of it to the Queen, everybody's happy.
Then I go back to Harriet, stretch out with some nectar while Harriet does things with her feelers I didn't know was even possible. Calls it a hum job. Oooh.

Uh, Steve, does Harriet have a friend who'd like a big bumbler like me?

Oh, yeah, Larry. Her name's Debbie. Harriet says she's been lookin' to start a colony of her own, too, but the last guy stung her real bad and she's been real careful ever since. Come on, help me get this load back to the hive and
 we'll go talk to Harriet, see if she'll set it up for you and Debbie.

And so Larry and Steve buzz off together, entreprenurial spirits workin' for 
the promise of honey pots and girl bees of their own.


dive said...

Ah, Speedway, your mind is a wonderful, strange and scary place.
Hee hee for the story. I love that first photo. Amazing!

Speedway said...

Me? Scary? I'm all gupcakes, Chihulys and pussycats. No CIA assassin here,just tryin' to get a couple worker bees out of bondage.

Speedway said...

It's CUPCAKES, effin' cupcakes, dammit! All I wanted was a few words to describe my picture and that's what came out.

dive said...

I want to try a gupcake!