Monday, May 6, 2013

For the One I Talk to at Night

I listen to the rain falling outside, tapping against my bedroom window
as I lie snuggled beneath my comforter, warm against the damp night air.
The cat is getting on with her life at the front of my apartment;
I can hear her leap from the couch into the window
to watch the night critters that pass outside.
Sometimes, she wakes me as she does battle with a passing
tomcat, yowling with offense and punching the window
with her paws, lethal, scarring blows. That is, they would be
if her battle had not had the window to act as her shield.
Turtle is asleep on the other side of the room,
sometimes scrunched into her shell, other times
sprawled on the mulch in her box.

I lie in the dark, listening to my little family,
and think of you, the way the silver in your hair
shines, a galaxy of stars against the night.
You make me laugh and brighten my day. 
I recall the sound of your voice as you greeted your crew.
Good morning, angels, I heard you say and smiled 
as I began my own work. Your little team happily 
did your bidding because you managed to make 
the work lighter for everyone.
I imagine our conversations, mundane as hell --
(There are responses here, but they sound like
 a bass version of Charlie Brown's teacher.)
Do you think my book is okay?
Does it make sense? Will anyone like it?
Does my hair look okay?
Do you think my blue dress fits well?

And so it goes, a liberated woman, comfortable
with being by myself, yet too insecure to seek the company
of the man I've wanted for so long.  As I drift off to sleep, I imagine 
what it would be like to lightly trace the furrows in his brow,
easing his own worries away, and to answer the question marks
I see in his blue eyes with kisses. 
Maybe tomorrow.


dive said...

Just grab a hold of him and kiss him, Speedway.
Men are simple creatures, a little like dogs only not so appealing. We're too scared of women to show how we feel about them so we need to be told.
Tell him how he feels.

Anonymous said...

Dive, that really only works if the man is the least bit interested. If he is disinterested, it would be annoying. I speak from sad experience.

Speedway said...

Oh, Dive, I'd love to do that - but only if I was certain that I wanted to be fired from my job and never be able to get another one.

And thank you, Alison. My concern exactly ... plus the above. People get fired from my workplace for sexual harassment as my boss will not put up with the sorts of conflicts what arise from time to time.

As a friend said, "It's like trying to mate pandas."